Wednesday, January 23, 2013


I think I’ve mentioned that I have a GREAT feeling about 2013. I don’t know why but I think it’s going to be a slam dunk year. Something about the air feels like everything is coming into place in a way that I never thought was possible. I’ve been living in that wind of change and possibility.

Now it’s 23 days into 2013 and while it’s been a good year so far it’s also been incredibly busy / strange / overwhelming due to the following list of things:

1.       New computer

2.       New job

3.       New apartment

4.       New roommate

5.       New car

Let’s just say number #5 was certainly not planned. Also, #1 had to happen with #2 and #3 and #4 were inevitable as my lease was up.

The moral of the story is that I had high hopes for myself and this little blog in 2013. I wanted to write every day and create a space for myself. I haven’t done that. I’ll admit it to you and myself. At first, I thought, “I’ll just write a bunch of posts and backdate them so they are all there and I don’t miss a day.”

Then I thought, “Why?”

The truth is, I have been insanely busy (see #1-5) and going through many life changes. That is a good thing. And it is ok that I didn’t get to start my blog yet. I’ll just start it now.

Which brings me to my first goal for the year:

I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.
While I have been a perfectionist in the past (read: until one minute ago), this year I am going to be gentle with myself and be honest about what I can and cannot accomplish. I cannot do everything. I do not have to. I am going to let go of being ‘perfect’ at everything, because let’s get real, being perfect is only an illusion anyway. No one is perfect. I am not perfect. I am exactly how I am meant to be. I am interesting, opinioned, impatient, detail-oriented, loving, laughing, and full of excuses to procrastinate. And that is wonderful. I am grace. And I will continue to remind myself of that every day.

I will prioritize singing in the choir for the 6pm mass.
Singing in the choir brings me joy. Like a million tiny rays of sunshine beam out of my face when I do it. So why wouldn’t I do it every week you ask? Great question. I don’t know. Last fall when I was doing Legally Blonde: The Musical, I just didn’t have time and then I got lazy and didn’t want to go to mass early. But this year is different. I will make it my priority on Sunday to be there early to practice and to praise Him through song. Hello tiny rays of sunshine, my face missed you.

I will let myself relax.
In 2013 I will allow myself to have down time. I will no longer proclaim that I cannot relax. I will say with confidence that I relish my time with my tea on the couch or laying around reading and not doing anything else at the same time. I am excited to relax. To breathe. To slow down. To savor each moment. Each. Single. One.

I will document my year in a reasonable and non-pressured way.
I bet you guessed what this goal is about: this blog. I first wanted to create my own blog in February of 2012. I did lots of proactive things like get a blog name, and twitter account. And then I wrote a few posts, got really overwhelmed that it wasn’t as perfect as the blogs I read that have been around for four years and gave up. I’ve come back to it a few times with crippling resolutions to write every day of the week. Or post every morning before work. Or 25 times a month or I fail. Needless to say, each time I have not met the ridiculous standards I imposed on myself.
In 2013 I will say “no thank you” to standards or metrics. This blog is a place of thoughtful reflection and joyful sharing. I will write here. That is what I am promising you and myself. Every entry will be a success. Especially this one of forgiveness and acceptance.

I will do good things for my body.
I have been in a pretty healthy eating routine since Legally Blonde. I eat foods that make me feel good: proteins, dairy, veggies, and fruits. I love bread but I feel better when eating it in moderation. I will excitedly continue my healthy eating habits in 2013 and continue to exercise my body and take that time for myself.

I will love myself.
I will remember every day that I have a right to be here exactly as I am. Instead of getting caught up in accomplishments or life plans or salary adjustments or work I will praise myself for being alive and good each day. I will give myself time to rest. I will get 8 hours of sleep as often as I can. I will be kind to myself as I am kind to others. I will praise myself for accomplishments. And if I do not accomplish something in the way that I wanted I will be gentle with myself and remind myself that I can try again if I so choose.

This year will be wonderful. It will also be hard at times. Of these two things I am sure. When trying times come I will remember that I am not alone. Win!

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